Romania Wedding Traditions: What to Expect & What Gifts to Bring

One of the most important moments in one’s life is the wedding, and in Romania, just like in all countries, this is a huge event that requires a lot of planning and usually causes a lot of confusion for guests, especially those who are not regulars at these events.

You never really know how wild, touching, and completely over the top a Romanian wedding can be until you’ve been to one. I’ve been to plenty – both my wedding and as a guest – and today I’m here to tell you everything about weddings in Romania, from customs to quirks, to what you should wear and what gifts to bring. And a lot more!

As you will see, things are not overly complicated, as many traditions have been updated to modern times, so you should feel comfortable and entertained.

Before we get into this, I must say that the second most important party after the wedding is the baby’s Christening. I wrote about it in-depth, too – check that article, too, since it will usually follow up soon after the wedding.

Now let’s get into the weddings in Romania and see what the traditions are, what to expect and more.

Note: The photos shared in this article are from my own wedding which took place back in 2011. I am saying this as you might consider some of the clothing and everything else a bit outdated. I still want to keep them for the great memories, and I hope you’ll enjoy them too.

What to Expect from a Romanian wedding

If you’ve never been to a wedding in Romania, expect to be amazed and surprised at the same time. Be ready for a marathon of eating delicious Romanian foods, plenty of drinking, dancing, and a schedule that can stretch from a church ceremony in the morning to the early morning of the following day.

The kind of wedding you attend might differ based on region or family, but generally, there are two main flavors:

1. Traditional Romanian wedding

These are most common in villages or smaller towns, where people stick closely to old customs. They usually respect old traditions to the core and don’t embrace many modern elements.

Expect home-cooked meals (sometimes for hundreds of guests!), lots of homemade wine and tuica (the infamous plum brandy), and a local band playing traditional Romanian until the morning, with people dancing hora (Romanian traditional dance) constantly.

The fun part? The dress code will probably be ignored by at least one guest who might pop up in his favorite sportswear. It happens!

2. Modern Romanian wedding

Most city weddings (and even some in villages and smaller towns) mix tradition with a modern vibe. This is most likely the type of wedding you’ll attend as a foreigner.

Expect a more laid-back atmosphere, a DJ or live modern band, lots of entertaining, unique moments during the night (dances, games, guest performances), and an overall modern, fun night.

In concept, both traditional and modern weddings follow the same route, but the approach is different, and expectations from guests are different too. And everything will usually start with…

Starea Civila (Civil Ceremony)

This is the legal (and, honestly, least fun) part, often done in the morning or even days before the church wedding and the follow-up party.

It’s short, formal, and usually attended by just family and close friends. Bring flowers for the bride – nothing more is expected at this point.

Normally, the bride won’t wear her dress for this occasion, but this could also vary. The dress code is not very strict, but you’re still expected to bring some elegant clothes.

If you receive an invitation to a wedding, you’re not necessarily expected to be there (unless you’re a very close friend or family member), but nobody will mind if you do show up.

After the Starea Civila, photos are taken with the guests and, depending on the time of the day the ceremony took place, everybody goes either straight to the church ceremony, or they meet at the church a few hours later (it’s usually the latter, allowing the bride to change clothes and get into her beautiful wedding dress).

Church ceremony

If the first ceremony has already taken place on a different day, things will start here, usually on a Saturday around noon.

Again, just like with the previous type of ceremony, you’re not necessarily expected to be present (unless you’re a close friend), but here it’s appreciated if you do show up.

The Orthodox wedding ceremony is traditional and can last from 40 minutes to over two hours. Standing is required too (no chairs, usually!).

In larger cities, the priests understood the fact that nobody wants to spend that much time listening to them, and nobody does it anyway. For example, I personally tried to listen to everything from start to finish and couldn’t make it because it was way too boring. And it was my own wedding!

I can only imagine that all the guests were in their own world as well. Because of this, many priests now hurry things as much as they can, but it’s still a long time you’ll have to spend standing up.

It is and feels special – Here are some photos from our ceremony, to know what to expect:

If you enjoy this, you might also want to read about more Romanian traditions here.

The wedding party

In the evening, the party begins! This is usually considered the main event, and it starts at around 8 PM, but guests will trickle in slowly, and usually by 10 PM, the full crowd is present.

To prevent this “trickling in” that results in a very slow part of the party, many try to have the Church ceremony as late as possible so that they go straight to the restaurant afterwards, but it’s usually at least a few hours in between for a short rest.

Expect four courses plus dessert (sometimes more!), plenty of drinks, a mountain of cakes, fruit platters, and snacks between meals. There are usually long pauses for dancing or traditions between each course (1.5 to 2 hours), so you’ll never feel rushed.

You’re usually expected to stay at least until the wedding cake is brought in. The party will continue, but it’s the moment when you won’t offend anyone if you leave. If you do leave before the cake is brought in, it’s considered rude or a sign that you didn’t enjoy the party.

For those who don’t drink alcohol or eat certain foods, let the couple know ahead of time – most venues will try to accommodate dietary needs if given notice, but don’t expect a huge range of options unless you’re at a more modern or urban wedding.

Wedding Traditions and Unique Customs in Romania

I am listing below all the wedding traditions in Romania that I can think of, as well as some of the things you should expect during this important event. As I said, they might differ slightly from region to region, but most are always present.

1. The first dance

This is what officially marks the start of the wedding. Just like in other countries, the groom and bride show off their dancing skills, to be joined by others as soon as their song ends.

2. Live Bands, DJs, and the “Hora”

You can expect to have a live band or multiple live bands, including a lot of traditional music or a more modern approach – a DJ.

Personally, I believe that the latter is better when it comes to the fun potential – but expect to hear traditional music even if there’s a DJ present, because for some reason people at weddings really like the “hora” (our traditional dance where everybody endlessly dances in a circle, and you’re expected to join at least once.).

Yes, I’m not a fan of that. Ha!

3. Kidnapping of the Bride (totally safe Romanian wedding tradition)

A favorite moment, and one of the biggest events during the wedding party: close friends “kidnap” the bride and take her somewhere nearby – usually a club or pub – to party a bit.

When the groom finds out, usually after somebody yells in the microphone, “S-a furat mireasa” (The bride was stolen), he and sometimes the godfather must perform a silly task or offer a “ransom” to get her back.

These pranks get creative – at my wedding, I had to sing a song, while our godfather had to hand over a bottle of whiskey. He played a prank on the kidnappers and filled it with apple juice instead and everybody had fun.

So pranks like this can be expected and the entire event is usually a lot of fun, as I said.

4. The ritual of becoming a married woman

It’s a traditional, special event centered around the bride trading her veil for a scarf, symbolizing her new status. There’s a little playacting as she pretends to refuse it at first, but eventually she accepts.

The tradition remained from the times when married women were actually expected to wear the scarf daily (called “Batic” in Romanian). This is no longer done, but the wedding tradition remains.

5. Shaving the groom

Sometimes, the groom is shaved by the best man or godfather – nowadays more of a symbolic gesture than an actual shaving. This can also be done at home if the wedding is very traditional and begins at the groom’s home.

We skipped this, for example, but it’s still a relatively common tradition.

6. Bouquet Toss

Just like elsewhere, single women gather to catch the bride’s bouquet, hoping to be next in line for marriage.

Things can get pretty competitive when it comes to who catches the bouquet.

7. Garter Toss

The groom has his own “bouquet” to throw for the single men to catch. It’s the garter, which sometimes is removed by the groom with his teeth only, and the single guy who catches it is considered the next one to marry.

Usually, the single lady who caught the bouquet and the single guy who caught the garter will share a dance (and are said to become the next couple to marry).

There are plenty of superstitions that will make their way into weddings, and I wrote about some of the funniest here.

8. Special Performances & Surprises

It’s getting more and more common nowadays to see hired dancers or entertainers appear to get everyone on their feet, or keep the crowd entertained. After all, it’s along party!

9. The Role of the Godparents (Nasi)

Romanian weddings have a unique twist: the godparents, called “nasi,” are extremely important parts of the wedding ceremony and the newly-founded family.

They’re a married couple who act as spiritual sponsors for the bride and groom. The nasi guide the couple through the ceremonies, sign key documents, lead certain traditions (like the ritual of becoming a married woman), and usually support with organizing the event by spending/gifting more money than any other wedding-goer.

They sit with the newlyweds at the table during the party, and are considered honored guests, being involved with the wedding before it starts – and after it ends, remaining part of the family.

What to wear to a Romanian wedding

Let’s get one obvious thing out of the way first: if it’s a themed party, you will be told about the dress code well in advance, so you have time to prepare accordingly. Themed parties are not popular in Romania, though.

If you have a special role (godparent, best man, maid of honor, bridesmaid), expect to coordinate outfits, usually American-style, with bridesmaids in matching dresses (although the matching dresses might have traditional Romanian models, which are beautiful in my opinion).

Although this was not the tradition, now most weddings follow an American style wedding with multiple bridesmaids and best men (until now, it was just a pair).

For guests, things are a bit easier, as there’s a bit more freedom in terms of what to wear:

• Men: Suit, with or without tie; the jacket can usually come off after the first few dances.
• Women: Elegant night dress or pantsuit, but don’t upstage the bride (and never wear white, as that’s the bride’s color). But apart from this, anything goes as long as it’s elegant.
• Kids: While there’s no particular dress code, they’re also expected to wear something dressy, but comfortable.

What Gift to Bring to a Romanian Wedding

This is the big question everybody asks. And at most weddings, you’re expected to bring an envelope with cash as a gift.

On very rare occasions, actual gifts are considered appropriate – such as household items. But usually, it’s the money that is expected to be received, and this is what people usually bring.

If you want to bring a household item, make sure to discuss it in advance with the couple and agree upon an item they actually need. But in 99% of the cases, you’re expected to bring the envelope.

Actually, envelopes are provided at the party, and there’s a special box where guests place their signed envelopes (you can also add a short message for the couple, too). This special box is usually by the couple’s table. You can also hand it directly to the bride or groom.

This usually happens after the cake is served (which is, as I said before, a sign that the party can be officially considered over), just before you’re about to leave.

If the wedding is split into two events: Starea Civila first, then on a different day the Church and Party itself, you can only bring flowers and a small gift (or no gift at all) to the Starea Civila and deliver the envelope at the party. But remember the flowers!

How much money should you give?

Closer friends, family, or special guests at the wedding (like the godparents, the bridesmaids, and so on) are usually expected to give more than the regular guests.

The amount usually varies based on the city the wedding takes place in, the venue, and what expenses the newlyweds had (basically, the monetary gift you give should cover your share of all the costs, and a few on top).

Here are some guidelines in terms of how much you’re expected to give nowadays:

• As a single, regular guest, 200 Euros should be enough for most weddings. If you can afford more, it will be appreciated.
• If you’re a close friend or distant relative, the amount you’re expected to give is starting at 300-350 Euros.
• Godparents and close relative (the parents, usually) are expected to give the most – starting at 1,000 Euros, but up to 2,500 – 3,000 Euros and even more, especially in the case of the Godparents.

In most regular venues, the wedding menu alone is around 100 Euros per person. Add to that the various other expenses, and 200 Euros should cover them and leave some extra for the couple.

If you know other people at the wedding, don’t hesitate to ask them how much they’re offering. This question, which might sound like something you should never ask, is actually very common at weddings, helping people decide what’s the appropriate amount to give.

What if you can’t afford the gift? You should decline the wedding invitation well in advance (at least a few weeks before the party). If the couple insists that you come, even if you can’t give them anything – and they’re open about it – go and be part of their special day.

We had a few friends who were in a tough spot back when we had our wedding, but we insisted in them coming. We weren’t upset that they couldn’t bring anything – we knew that would be the case.

But they were close friends and having them close by for the special event mattered the most to us. So if you’re in a similar situation, it’s best to go too.

Essential Romanian Phrases for Wedding Guests

It’s good to know a few common phrases guests say to the newlyweds, if you want to go the extra mile and impress them. Here is what you should know:

Felicitări! (say: feh-lee-chee-TUH-ree)- Congratulations! (This goes if you can’t find the courage to try the one below)

Casă de piatră! (say: KAH-suh deh pee-AH-truh) – (Literally “house of stone,” meaning “may your marriage be strong.” This is what you normally wish the newlyweds)

Noroc! (say: noh-ROHK) – Cheers! (Usually, when toasting/drinking with fellow wedding-goers).

If you want to learn even more, check out my article teaching you how to say various greetings in Romanian.

Wrapping up

So there you have it: everything you need to know to enjoy (and survive) a Romanian wedding, straight from someone who’s been through it all. Hopefully, you now have a much clearer picture of the entire event.

If you still have questions or comments to make, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts down below. Or continue reading about the Romanian culture here.